There are two things I really, really don’t like. One is talking politics on my blog, and the other is dirty politicians. I’ll go ahead and address them both, just for you, Hillary.

I received your solicitation for funds in the mail today, and my first urge was to write “return to sender” and put it back in the mail. Nothing better than letting you pay for postage, twice, I say - especially when you’re soliciting campaign funds from a registered Republican. How broke are you, really, to send a mass mailing to people who are not even registered voters in your party, let alone living in the states you desperately need to win in order to be nominated, just to keep from drowning in the ocean you’re flailing your arms around in? I wonder.

I also wonder, Hillary, why there is a USW (United Steelworkers) logo in the bottom right corner of this envelope, when their very own website claims that they endorse Senator Obama. That has me curious, Hillary, I’d love to hear an explanation about that.

So here’s the content of this lovely solicitation for campaign funds that I received from you today:

(Paid for by Hillary Clinton for President)

“Dear Leanne,

After 46 contests and over 28 million votes being cast, we are in a neck-and-neck race with Senator Obama. Following a great victory in Pennsylvania, where we were outspent 5-to-1, we head into the final 6 weeks of the nominating process with great momentum — a momentum on which we need to keep building.

This month we face critical tests in Indiana, North Carolina, West Virginia, Kentucky and Oregon. I need you to join our campaign today because this race is so close that the decision you make could be the difference between winning and losing. Can I count on you to help by rushing a gift of $100 or even $50 so that our campaign will have the resources needed to succeed?

Leanne, I promise you that as long as I have your support, as long as you are fighting by my side, I will work as hard as I can to win. We will keep fighting because America is worth fighting for.

With your support today, we can show them once again that we’re in this to win. Thank you in advance for joining our campaign.”

—end of letter.

Um. Hillary, let me just point out a few things since you’re obviously completely unaware. You’ve only managed to secure 19 states. That’s 29 states going to “them”. That’s “neck-and-neck”? You are 308 delegate votes away, Obama is only 121. You are 187 votes and 29 states BEHIND Obama. That’s not “neck-and-neck” in the eyes of many Americans, Hillary, Obama is the obvious choice for the Democratic party.

Does that not say something to you, that a majority of your party wants “the other guy”? Or is that why you’re soliciting Republicans now?

Second, why on earth would you think soliciting a Republican is a wise choice? Obviously where I stand on issues is totally different, otherwise I’d be a member of the Democratic party. Why would you think that you have a remote chance of becoming more than junk mail in my household?

Third, you’re obviously more clueless than you seem on TV. If you’re so in tune with the middle class, what the he-double-toothpicks makes you think I have a spare $100 lying around to throw your way? Seriously? OMG, d’oh, and double d’oh.

Fourth, this one is the kicker for me, “we can show them once again that we’re in this to win”. Who’s “them”, Hillary? Yeah, that’s what bullies do, they’re gonna show them who’s boss. And guess what? Even if you win the nomination for your party, you still won’t win my vote. I don’t buy into what you’re trying to sell this Country, and as a military wife, I think that should speak volumes.

Last but certainly not least, I live in Illinois. You already lost here. Take me off your mailing list.

My irises have almost unfurled, and there’s already a very strong smell of grapes coming from them. I would, if I could, create and patent an iris scented nose insert. This would be especially good if you have smelly neighbors, or just spend a lot of time around smelly people. Simply put the iris scented nose inserts up into each nostril and voila! You smell grapes, and all the world is right again.

I have a lot of irises this year. I even planted one that is supposed to look like a Baboon’s butt Bottom. I know it sounds a little demented, but I’m kinda excited to see that one, kwim? People are strange. Myself included.

My gerber/gerbera daisies are lover-ly. I have several in a planter that my hubby made for me, it’s my daisy planter box. People actually slow down when they drive past my house to look at the pretty flowers. I always flip them my green thumb when they do that, I’m such a show off.

This is how my planter looks this year:

They’re really sissy flowers, and require a lot of attention and babying - but they’re worth it. Now for the good stuff. I mean the REALLY good stuff. The stuff that’s going to prove that my thumb probably isn’t as green as I’d like to think!

This is my vegetable garden. Hubby dug it up, it’s 12′ x 12′. He reeeealy wanted a veggie garden this year so I’m going to do my best. I’ve planted broccoli, cauliflower, beets, bush beans, green peppers and two half rows of spinach. We also have (off to the side against the fence) roma tomatoes and cucumber. Now, I have to tell you, I kill food. I kill it dead, and fast.

It’s been one week and one day since I planted stuff and things are still standing up and green.

(Pausing for applause.)

I am hoping, if all goes well, to be eaten alive by garden bugs and sweat like a farmer woman pulling weeds by mid summer. Why on earth is this something that a girl would aspire to, anyway? All this just for a fresh head of broccoli? Maybe what I really aspire to is to be clubbed over the head and dragged away by my really long hair by a cave man. Or a military man. (There, honey, now you qualify.)

Any gardeny advice for a newbie? Please? Tips, tricks or sprays that I should use? Special gloves? Bandanas? Ponytail holders? Knee pads? Grub identification manuals? Anything?

Okay, well, you think about it and I’ll get back to work over here. I’ve got blog designing to do. And paintings to ship, and jeez - a whole bunch of stuff on my to-do list! (Crack that whip!)

It’s raining cats in my studio - this is my second completed cat portrait this week. Morris is an orange tabby and this is also a memorial painting for his furmom. He passed away just a couple of months ago so I hope that his portrait brings her years of warm memories and smiles.

I’ve left my brushes beside the piece so you can see what I use when I work the final layer. Yes - that’s a toothpick, so you can see how small the brushes are. I do paint each piece of fur one piece at a time, that’s what gives my paintings their depth and realism. It may be tedious, but the results are so well worth it to me, and to my clients.

I’ll post the final scan once his portrait is dry & varnished.

Thanks for tuning in to my studio cam, if you had the chance!

Callie’s portrait is complete - I’ll post a scan after the painting is dry. You can view her previous progress shot here. :)